जब कोई बड़ा छोटी हरकत करे तो वो बड़ा नहीं रह जाता ।



-जिद्दी राज़न

MY FIRST LOVE

Love is always a great feeling and first love is even more fragrant.I don't think that there would be any one who had got his first love in his or her life and in this story I m not considering any difference between infatuation and love because I think both are same.
When I was in second standard I fell into love for the first time.The lucky girl was captain of junior school,she was in eighth standard and also was my classmates's sister.It was 'love at first sight' when I saw her giving a speech in a speech competition in which I was forced to sit.She was speaking very fluent english but I could not grab even a single sentence but I was percepting that her speech was very good.After the speech she smiled beautifully creasing her hair over her ears,everyone clapped, I clapped very forcefully till the end of the noise of clapping that I had pain in my palm. I cou why I couldn't understand why I had smile on my face,I could not control my expanding cheeks,but I was very happy and exicited.
I was the smallest boy in height of my class.So I use to stand at the first position in morning assembly.She came at the front along with her group to sing school prayer.I joined my hand and closed my eyes to sing prayer,but after one minute I could not control myself from opening my eyes. I opened my eyes partially that I could see her,she was looking so pretty while singing prayer.She had dimples on her cheeks which use to appear and disappear at various syllables of the lyrics.Slowly slowly my eyes were opening wide and I was smiling,suddenly my teacher came from behind and shouted in my ears" close your eyes and sing prayer".It was like electric shock to me, I felt shivering .
In the lunch break I was looking for her but I didn't find her.As soon as bell rang I started walking to my class in a sad mood,suddenly I saw her giggling with her friends,the moment turned into the happiest moment of that day.I went to my class happily,perhaps my lunch would better digested then.
In the class I kept trying talking to her brother,I used to provide my stationary items to him.He was devil of class,always troubling children,but I triumph him and make him my friend.
I got my big success in few months.Once he invited me to his home on his birthday,he used to live in a nearby place.My mom left me to his home, I was carrying a gift.As soon as I entered the room,she came to me with rasna softdrink.She was wearing a red dress with golden glittering lashes embedded on it,She was looking most goregous I had ever seen her,I was very nervous to feel her so close to me. I suddenly grabbed the glass,my body was shivering to see her face from near.I don't know what was it, but I was afraid of something.
When I returned back to my home,I could feel her in my eyes.Her glimpse were on my mind,I could not sleep even and I was asleep that night till 4am.Next morning I was normal,but still thinking of her only.
Next big event of my first love came in december.We were studying the same boring subjects in the class,when I heard her voice "may i come in mam?". My head was down the table searching for the pencil which fell down at floor.My all senses blocked and my ears cought her voice and I recognised it is she.I took my head out of the table with anxiety and got wounded on my head,but no worry, I saw her and got some kind of satisfaction in my heart .She was talking to our class teacher,as they finished talking,our class teacher said" I am going to teacher's meeting,didi will be in your class,don't trouble her!" .'Didi' this word puzzled my mind,then I smiled cleverly and repeated in my mind "my friend's didi."My friend was sitting with me and shouting "didi come here".But she was ignoring her but i didn't.
She smiled and asked the class "Would you like to play a games?" Everyone shouted "yes!!",She put her one fingers in her ears and smiled and said "Ok,but only if would not shout".She came near to her brother and asked for his hanky.She took hanky from him and started scanning the class, I didn't know what she was looking for.Suddenly she said to me" You stand up and come out" .I was shocked to hear it,I didn't know what to do! My heart was beating like a boxers boxing under my chest.I came out of my seat shivering and nervous.She said me"turn to blackboard side" , as I turned she came behind me and sat down as she was very longer than me,then she wrapped the cloth on my eyes.I was feeling warmth on my body,I could feel every breath she took that time.Her soft fingers on my cheeks were arousing some effect in my body,but suddenly she stood up and turned my body holding my shoulders. I was trying to smile but nervousness was forced my lips to stay still.Now I had to catch anyone,childrens were shouting ,some were coming to hit me on my head.But i didn't cared.I wanted to catch her.I was running behind her girlish fragrance.I could trace her blindfoldedly but I was afraid to go near her .I was gathering my whole strength to go near her but it was all waste.Finally i started to move near her,As I was going near her, our teacher came in and she went away smiling.
It was the month of april when my friend told me that they are going to shift delhi permanently and they are going tommorow.As I heard it, I started feeling a pain,It was hurting very bad.I wanted to cry but I couldn't,my tears were ready to come out.
Next day I took out my drawing sheet and crayons and started rubbing black crayon on the sheet.Then I took the red crayon and wrote I LOVE YOU and my name in the end and folded that sheet as many times as I can and ran to my friend's home.Their things were packed and they were just ready to go.I was trying to put that sheet somewhere so that she could read it but I could not see any suitable thing.They locked their home and started moving to the cab and that sheet was still in my hands.I was searching for something,time was running and I was crying in my heart.I saw something,it was her badminton racket bag in the car I ran to it and pushed that sheet inside.Suddenly I heard my friends voice and zipped the bag,some piece of paper got teared I took it in my hand and put in my pocket.I was happy about this,their family came to sit in the cab, I touched their parents feet and she handshaked with me and they sit and car and went away.I was waiving my hand till I could see the car dust.
When they disappeared I took out that piece of paper that got teared.I opened it and It was the lower piece in which my name was written.My controlled tears burst out of my eyes and I could feel my first love.I always missed her in the school in my life.I really love u ******.